A friend for Hadley - Playdates with Baby Nick (and Max)

My friend Natalie and I have truly enjoyed having boys that are the same age. Our little fellas are good playmates, and Natalie and I always enjoy catching up. Whether our talks are about parenting, age appropriate developmental milestones, places to get inexpensive kid clothes, etc., it's nice to have someone else to talk to about the daily ends and outs. A while back, we began talking about how we would both like a second child around the time our boys turned two. To our excitement, both of us succeeded in getting pregnant, and now there is another set of friends to enjoy our playdates - Hadley and Nicholas.  

Baby Nick was born at the end of July, but due to our busy schedules and my kids being sick, we didn't get to meet him until the end of September. Caleb and Max were happy to see each other again too. As they stood by the pond near Max's house throwing in rocks, I heard Max singing, "Caleb and Max, Caleb and Max." At one point, cutie pie Max picked a flower and tried to give it to Caleb. Caleb, who was enamored with throwing rocks in the pond, ignored the gesture, but Natalie explained to Max that it's better to give flowers to girls so Max gave his to Hadley.

 

As sweet as Max was to give Hadley a flower, she was more interested in Baby Nick. She tried to sneak her arm around him and hold his hand. (She tried to eat his hand too!) Hadley is six months old in these pictures and Nick is two months so I was surprised at how close in size they were. When Caleb and Max were small, I always had the butterball, now I have a dainty girl.

 

Last week, we were able to get together again, but this time at our house. The kids had a ball playing on the swing set and pretending to serve food at the "snack bar." My mom also stopped by for a while to play with them and help us corral.

(Note: The swing set has blown over and been reassembled twice since I last posted about it - a long and frustrating story, ending in the fact that it is now well staked to the ground.)

My dad also brought out the bounce house for the kids to enjoy, although I think Caleb was more excited about the on/off switch than jumping in it. Hadley was even big enough to play on it with some help this time.

 

 

 

Baby Nick slept through most of the outside play but woke up when we were inside. Natalie got some good shots of these new friends together.

 

 

We are so thankful for good friends!

Goodbye Insecurity!

While Caleb was enjoying his first daycare experience, Hadley and I were enjoying time fellowshipping with other moms and babies in the MOPS group. The speaker, Grace Morrison, did an amazing job on the message she presented. She chose a topic that touched every woman in the room: overcoming insecurity. By the end of her message, almost everyone was saying they knew why God had put them at that meeting - to hear what the Holy Spirit was saying through Grace. Some women were even in tears because they were so touched by how God had spoken to their lives through her. A couple of us asked Grace for her notes afterwards to remember some of the key points. She agreed to post them on Facebook for us, but she went above and beyond, giving us pretty much the whole sermon. I love it so much and think it is applicable to women everywhere. So rather than hoard the beauty of these words on our group's Facebook page, I am sharing them here, hoping that many more women's hearts will be touched and changed for the glory of the One who made us. That rather than being hung up with all we see wrong in ourselves, we will begin to live the lives Christ offers us through His grace and be what God designed us to be.

Grace's message:

OK Mama's!  You asked for it, so here it comes.... :)

Just in case you think for a minute that I am qualified to share on this subject because I have gotten over my insecurities... let me set the record straight:  I have more insecurities than most women have shoes in their closet!  I am in process, just like you - so NO need to feel "insecure" about your leg of the journey...

Like some of you, I was bred for insecurity!  My mom had me out of wedlock in the 70's when that wasn't the "in" thing to do... In fact, she lost my dad, her California Babe, because she chose me over HIS insecurity and his attempt to persuade her to terminate me... Even more ironically, my own grandmother made the same suggestion, to cover HER insecurity and the "shame" it would be on our "dignified" name... HA!  I guarantee she and my Grandpa are glad my Mom had some hudzpah, because I know they love me to pieces!

Who, in this day and age has escaped?  We've all been bred, cultured, formed, molded and intimately instructed in the fine art of insecurity.  You can't show up to kindergarten without suddenly discovering there's a whole universe of things to figure out in order to "fit in," be accepted, get along, etc... then add in factors like broken homes, physical, financial maladies... the list goes on. 

The bottom line is: EVERYONE deals with insecurity! 
And it all started in the beginning...  In Genesis 2:25 we read that Adam and Eve were hanging out in the garden totally naked - WOOT!  (I don't even think they had P90X back then....)  and they were NOT ASHAMED!!! 

Can you imagine that???  Just hangin' out, all exposed to the elements and stuff and not a worry on your mind???  Girls - You'd be lookin' for your Spanx - don't even lie!!! HA!

And what happened?  Eve goes hanging out around the garden pickin' fruit and the Snake starts talking.  I don't know about you, but I think that was her first mistake.  She saw a snake and didn't run!  Then it starts talking and she's like, cool... talking snake, man if it can do that it MUST be smart! lol.  And the Snake asks her the SAME question he's asking today... "Did GOD really say????"  "Come ON! You eat fruit ALL the time... you don't REALLY think it'll kill you do you???  I mean, let's just be logical about this!"  "I think the real problem is, He's afraid you'll be just like HIM!"  I hope you're hearing the Buzzer on that one!  God does NOT require You to be small in order for Him to be Big!!!!!!  He's BIG ALL BY HIMSELF!!!  He created you for Greatness - for Glory!  But more on that in a minute...

So, Eve, not realizing the cardinal rule about staying away from snakes, buys the lie... and her hubs does the same... and BAM!  They had a new found "knowledge."  You see, the tree was called the tree of the "knowledge of good and evil."  Sound familiar???  Before they ate of it, ALL THEY KNEW was the Glory of GOD!  ALL THEY KNEW WAS GOD!!!  They had intimacy - REAL intimacy... and then they discovered shame.  Genesis 3:10 says that God was out one evening to take His daily walk with Adam and couldn't find Him and when he did, Adam said: "I heard you in the garden, but I was naked and afraid and so I hid from you." 

"How did you know you were naked Adam?"  And the truth came out... and the very first sacrifice was made by God to clothe them properly...  You see when they were walking in the garden, they weren't really naked - they were clothed with the glory of God! In Psalms 8:5 David has this amazing revelation of man... and he asks God: "What is man that you are mindful of him???"  Why would you even have us on your mind... he is smacked in the face with the realization of our frailty compared to the All Powerful One... and then he says: "You have made him a little lower than the angels and crowned him with GLORY and Honor!"  That word for "crowned" in the Hebrew literally means to circle or surround... to clothe!  They were literally WEARING glory!  They were not "really" naked... they may have had no clothes on and been completely vulnerable to the elements around them, but God had that covered... He had THEM covered... but after the fall, they began to cover themselves... isn't that what we do?  We cover our nakedness... we hide our vulnerabilities behind cloaks that we believe will sheild us from the elements???

Romans 3:23 says: "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory..."  That tree represents the death blow of the law that plunged it's spear between us and His glory... squeezing the demonic wedge into the most intimate place where we would only know HIM.  Now we know how to compare.  Now we regulate... we analyze... good?  evil?  We are painfully aware of our nakedness no matter how thick we pile on the layers and we are left totally exposed to the elements...  But we were never created to live under this law!  We are children of Freedom!  Christ has Redeemed us from the curse of the law!  2 Corinthians 3:16 says: "the law brings death, but the Spirit gives LIFE!"   We are Spirit beings!  Romans 8:14 tells us: "those who are led by the SPIRIT are the children of God!"  God never intended for us to live by a code of ethics... He wants us to live out of our relationship with Him and in the power of His SPIRIT living, moving, breathing IN US!!!  There is NO shame there... NO exposure... We become clothed with Jesus and our outside begins, step by step, to look like the Glory of God that is reigning on the inside!

I love what Proverbs 31:25 says to women - to the women that God calls women of VALOR... "She is CLOTHED (there's that word again) with Strength and Dignity and she LAUGHS at the days to come!"  We know this so well as women, how to clothe ourselves. And some of us are better than others... but, we do it.  We put on the outfit, pair up the shoes and then if we're still not satisfied, we gaud ourselves in jewels until our earlobes are drooping, we need a chiropractor and our arms don't even need sleeves to cover... then we color our face with every cream, paint, powder, liner and sparkle we can find in the house until we think NOW we couldn't POSSIBLY give off the vibe that we couldn't take the world with one hand tied behind our backs... Don't we?  And yet, some of us, makeup or not are like walking advertisements to our own insecurities...  But God wants to take those insecurities and place on us a garment that would make the rarest Versace look like poo by comparison... He wants to clothe you with Strength... You say "weak?"  He says "STRONG!"  You say "shamed, broken, used, wasted?"  He says "look at Dignity walking by... isn't She LOVELY!"  It reminds me of Gideon... Gideon was a WIMP!  He was a whiny, scared little boy... the antithesis of a tough guy and yet, when God called him, He said "Hey, MIGHTY MAN OF VALOR!"  VALOR... sound familiar?  He calls YOU by the same name... 

God's desire is for you to live a life without FEAR!  1Timothy 1:7 says: "God has not given you the spirit of fear, but of Love, Power and a Sound (Well disciplined mind)  The only thing the enemy has on you is a lie and the only power he has is our belief of the lie.  You were not born for instability, depression or anxiety!  You were born for LOVE!  You were born for POWER! (Woman of VALOR) and you were born for STABILITY!

He wants you to live with CONFIDENCE!!!  Not confidence in your ability to "fake it!"  Philippians 3:3 tells us to put NO confidence in the flesh!  Our confidence is in HIM ALONE!!!

He wants you to know you are ENOUGH!!!  (Weaknesses and all...)  2 Corinthians 12:9 says "MY (God's) strength is made PERFECT in weakness..."  Paul went on to say boldly - "Therefore I will BRAG about my weakness that the POWER OF CHRIST may be seen IN ME!"  Seriously???  Wow!  It's the picture of the garden... are we any more unempowered or weak than when we are standing naked???  And yet we are never exposed to the elements when we are clothed in HIS Righteousness!!!

Daughters of the MOST HIGH, it is TIME!!!
*Time to tear down the facades that pit us against one another...
*Time to shred the shadows we hide among that keep us from truth and intimacy...
*Time to know who we ARE in spite of what we see...
*Time to shake off the shackles of insecurity that all too often we've placed on ourselves, because we've been too busy analyzing what' good and what's evil - too soaked up in comparisons to let go and learn how to love and BE loved!

God does NOT love His children Equally... He Loves us UNIQUELY!!!  He loves you differently than He loves me, because we are different and what touches you may not get to me and vice versa... But, He knows exactly where to touch you!  And His love NEVER fails... Never runs away... Never forgets... and NEVER, NEVER Runs OUT!!!  There is MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!

You have been clothed with Strength and Dignity and you are called to LAUGHTER!  Get your LAUGHTER BACK!!!!  You were NOT designed for depression!!!!!  That's why every cell in your body responds negitavely to that emotion - you were made to LAUGH!

Don't forfeit your garments for the Snakes LIE!  All he has is a lie... and he may stike at your heel, but your Kinsman Redeemer - Your SOULS LOVER has CRUSHED HIS HEAD!!!  Genesis 3:15

Don't buy the lie!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVVlMQved8k

Thank you, Lord, for this message. And, thank you, Grace, for your obedience to share it.

Daycare, here comes Caleb!

Back in September, Natalie told me about a daycare program that she decided to send Max to a couple times a week. She liked the school and what the kids were being taught. After sending Max to school there, Natalie also learned that the church hosted a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group and began attending. Since before Caleb was born, I had been wanting to get involved in a MOPS group but never had really taken the time to try to find one since we moved here. Needless to say, I was excited when she invited me to try it out and last Friday I was able to take her up on her invite.

One of the bonuses of the group is that they provide free childcare while you're there as well as lunch for the kids. The children get to take part in the school's daycare activities for a couple hours while the mothers have some bonding time and hear a devotional message. Caleb was ecstatic about going to "school." From the moment he found out where we were going that morning, he repeatedly kept telling me that he wanted to go to "school" and rushed me to get out the door. He was so excited that he wiggled all over the place as I tried to get his picture.

 

When we pulled up and he saw the playground, he was thrilled - that is until Mommy explained that it was raining and we had to go inside. (Hopefully, another time! Right?)

I was a bit apprehensive about leaving him, even if it was for just a couple hours, but Natalie's confidence in the teachers that work there made me feel better. Max was in Caleb's class so I knew he'd have at least one buddy he already knew. Plus, I invited my friend Shannon who brought Vivi, another of Caleb's playmates.

Caleb was not nervous about leaving me at all. At the door his teacher greeted him and told him that they were working on colors. One of the ladies asked, "Caleb, do you know your colors?" Caleb looked at the paper and said something like, "Red, yellow, green" and then walked over to play with some toys. He never turned back, never told me goodbye, never gave me a kiss. He's a big boy! I, of course, had mixed feelings - happy that he didn't shed any tears but a little sad to see how quickly he traded in his Mommy.

About an hour into the meeting though, one of the teachers came to get me saying that Caleb needed me because he had to go to the bathroom. Shocked because he never usually warns me before he goes, I headed through the maze of classrooms and kids to help my boy, proud that maybe he'd finally decided it is time to get serious about potty training. After hanging out in the stall for awhile trying to keep him from touching everything and unwinding the toilet paper, I came to the conclusion that it was a false alarm. At least he tried to be a big boy at school.

I took him back to his class where he enjoyed some pizza bites, green beans, and fruit snacks. He looked so small at that big table without a booster seat, but he did pretty good because I didn't see much food on him when I picked him up later.

After the meeting, I headed to the room to pick him up and found him somewhat upset and disgruntled. The teacher said he'd done wonderfully the whole time until it was time to put the regular students down on their mats for nap time. Since the MOPS kids weren't staying for nap time, Caleb, Max, and Vivi were waiting at the table instead for their moms to pick them up.

Before coming into the school that morning, I told him that we didn't need a woo woo (pacifier) at school and had put it in his backpack/diaper bag. His sweet teacher had found it and given it to him to comfort my tired boy until his Momma showed up. As I came to the door, he cried, "I want you. I want you to hold me."  I motioned for him and told him to come to me but no matter how many times I told him, he sat at the table and waited until his teacher told him it was okay to go. I was proud of him for being a brave boy that morning but it felt good that he still wanted his Mommy some too.

After getting a hug, he told me he liked "school" and wanted to go back - and by go back he meant right that second. I told him we'd have to wait until next time but we would be coming back.

Let me catch my breath

Like the leaves spinning off the trees, the weekend before last was a whirlwind of autumn activities for the McKinstrys. 

For weeks, Dave had been planning a camping trip with some friends and our church family. This was the only weekend before November that we didn't already have plans to do something else, so it was the only opportunity to get something going before the weather got too cold. Everyone else must be just as busy as we are though because no one ended up being able to camp out like we'd hoped. Instead Dave turned the event into a bonfire which had a pretty decent turn out. (Sadly, I forgot the camera so I don't have any pics for you this time.) Caleb, Hadley, and I went over for a little while, but with both kids recovering from colds and ear infections, we didn't stay long, especially once it began to get too dark for me to see where my busy boy was running.

After staying up late Friday for the bonfire, we all slept in Saturday, which is unusual since at least one of the kids is usually up and ready to go early. I was not feeling too well from my Lupus, so we decided to have a laid back morning and to take a trip to the Festival of Leaves on Main Street to get out and enjoy the scenery. 

While we were getting ready, Caleb went out to play with the pumpkins on the front porch. Although my Dad bought Hadley the pumpkin with the face and Caleb the Mickey one, for some reason, Caleb has now claimed the toothy-faced one as his own. He thought it was great fun to roll the pumpkins off the porch until Mommy had to go and stop all the fun! He also liked laying all the pumpkins on their sides, explaining to me that they were sleeping.

I haven't been to the Festival of Leaves for years since it usually hits the same weekend as the Luray Heritage Festival. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I went, but it was probably at least fifteen years ago or better. This year for some reason, the festivals were held on different weekends which was great for people who want to go to both.

Hadley was happy about it.

Notice her sunflower purse. 

This girl is ready!

There were lots of crafts at the festival, but many of them were much more trendy than what you'd find at the Heritage Festival. Hadley and I spent a good chunk of time looking at one tent in particular with homemade hair bows. Of course we had to buy a few for when her hair gets a little longer. :)

My Mom works at an insurance agency on a street adjacent to Main Street, so when she got off work, she joined us. She was pretty excited to show off her grandbabies to everyone. I think Hadley enjoyed being shown off too!

Caleb's liked playing on the old caboose down by the Visitor's Center as much as anything. Hadley even got to try it out a some too.

As nap time approached, we headed back to the car. Caleb wanted to stay and play some more but was quickly satisfied with a cookie one of my mom's friends had given her for him. As he finished the first cookie, he yelled to my mom who was several blocks up ahead something like, "Grandma, come back here. Me want a chocolate cookie." And, did Grandma have a chocolate cookie in her purse for her favorite grandson? You bet!

The fall activities that day didn't end with the festival though. Our pastor hosted the annual hayride for the church at his farm like usual. I was going to stay at the house with Hadley but some of the church ladies were adamant that I leave her with them and enjoy the hour long hayride with my boys. I hated to leave my sweet girl behind but I knew she'd be getting plenty of lovin'. The scenery was beautiful and the weather was great, much better than our chilly ride last year. The kids are all so great with Caleb even though he is younger than the rest and include him in whatever they're playing. On the way home, he even sat in the back with Chloe, snuggling all the way back to the house.

It was a busy weekend but a good one. Good thing we have Sundays to catch our breath!