"A good name is better than fine perfume." - Ecclesiastes 7:1
On a piece of paper, I jotted name after name that caught my eye - some more familiar and others that were somewhat unique. While Dave is usually more into traditional names, I tried to keep the list varied and avoided ones I thought were too common. I began sending a few of my thoughts to my mom behind the scenes via Facebook. "Isaac, Trey, Trent, Eli, Micah, Travis, Reid, Bryce, Wade, Wyatt" - it read. Then, with list in hand I went upstairs to present the ideas to my husband who often can be a challenge when trying to choose our children's names.
Dave decided right off the bat that he preferred "Isaac" out of the options I'd suggested, but Caleb, who was nearby during the name conversation, immediately latched on to "Reid." For weeks, any time we even tried to discuss other names after that, he would get upset, saying something like "I like Reid. I want his name to be Reid." As a result, eventually everyone around us began calling the baby by that name. Granny, NaNa, and eventually Dave all used it long before it was officially decided. And while I kept holding out, trying to refer to him as "the baby" until we 100% set exactly what his name would be, I have to admit that in my head I too was calling him "Reid." After awhile it just seemed that no other name would do. He was "Reid," and Caleb had known it from the beginning.
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| While it wasn't official until I wrote it on those hospital forms, we were pretty confident "Reid" was this baby's name weeks ahead of time. When the Christmas stockings at Pottery Barn Kids went on sale days before his arrival, Mom even had me go ahead and order him one with his name sewn on similar to the ones she bought Caleb and Hadley last year. As I typed the letters that were to be embroidered across the top, that's when it began to feel real. We had picked a name! |
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| When I ordered the stocking, Mom also told me to go ahead and purchase the stroller blanket I wanted like the one she bought last year for Hadley. It was baby blue this time though with the letters R-E-I-D! |
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| He loves it. |
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| Snuggly boy |
The Middle Name: Deciding the middle name was a little trickier. Originally, we thought about using Isaac since that was the other option we'd considered as a first name, but I didn't really like how it flowed together.
As I was reading in my pregnancy devotional, Catherine Larson highlighted the significance that names had in the Scriptures and encouraged parents to prayerfully consider the importance of their child's name beyond just the way it sounds. I had already been praying about what my little one's name would be, especially since I was confident God had known it long before the foundations of the world were laid; however, her comment did make me stop and consider the significance of the name I chose.
Meanwhile, when all of this decision making was taking place, I was leading a women's Bible study entitled Life Principles from the Old Testament (by Wayne Barber, Eddie Rasnake, and Richard Shepherd). Interesting enough, the same theme of the importance of choosing the right name popped up as we looked at the life of Jacob, whose name means "deceiver." Sadly, time and again Jacob lived up to that name, which ended up causing him to flee from his family and home to avoid the wrath of his twin brother. We saw later that as he was transformed inwardly through his encounters with the Lord, God chose to also change his name from Jacob to Israel (meaning "he strives with God") to reflect the change that had taken place in his inner person. Later, when his wife Rachel tries to name their youngest son Ben-oni ("son of my sorrow") as she lay dying from childbirth, Jacob changes the boy's name to Benjamin ("son of my right hand"). It is interesting that this tidbit was included in the story of Benjamin's birth, but when we truly reflect on it, it reveals that Jacob definitely knew the significance of a name.
The following week, as we moved on to study the life of Joseph, one thing after another struck my heart. This was especially interesting because at about the same time that we were studying Joseph as a women's group, our church also did the same story for Fun Day (our church's one-day VBS). As I prepared the lesson I was teaching the children and listened to the other speakers, God spoke to me again and again. Later, when meditating on how significant his story was to me during this pregnancy, I began to consider the idea of using Joseph as a middle name as a memorial to the work the Lord was doing in my life while I carried this child.
Specifically, here are a few examples of things that stood out to me (all found in the workbook mentioned above or discussed at our Bible study group):
1. We don't have to be a victim to our circumstances; God is bigger than them and "overwhelms every circumstance" (p.97). (In my case at that time, I needed assurance that he was bigger than my health issues, my daily frustrations/impatience, my list of to-dos, and other people's opinions.)
2. Rather than being angry with those who hurt us (or God for allowing it to happen), dwelling in self-pity, or begging God to rescue us from the situation, it is best to just glorify God from where we are and give Him our best.
3. Sometimes we are unwilling "to see the hand of God in the evil others do" (p. 101) to us, tending to only see Him in the good. We assume the effects will be bad instead of being hopeful God has a plan for good. We forget He is "always sovereign and always working to accomplish His purpose in our lives and in the world" (p.101) even if things look bleak at the onset. "Nothing comes to [us] that has not been measured out by [His] loving hand." He uses every circumstance for His purpose, so we need to see His blessings in all things, not just the pleasant ones (p. 107).
4. Joseph chose his attitude despite what was happening around him. His quality of life would have been quite different if he'd chosen to be miserable and bitter over his circumstances. Not only was he blessed to be part of a greater purpose as a result, his attitude was a testimony to those around him, especially his brothers.
5. God is overflowing with grace. He used the evil the brothers did and turned it around for good. He even blesses THEM through it! How humbling that must have been! That is grace!
On days when I felt full of complaint and worthless due to the shoulder pain, pregnancy fatigue and aches, and Lupus/Fibromyalgia symptoms I was experiencing, I needed this picture of Joseph more than ever. He was a man who didn't wallow in self-pity but did what he could for God where he was and with what God had given him. Rather than harping on the problems, he saw a purpose. Rather than looking at the circumstances, he chose to trust God. That is exactly what I needed; reassurance that despite those days of having to rely on others and feeling useless, there was still a value to my life that I might not be able to see plainly at that time but that would be revealed in the end. I needed to chose my attitude and trust God.
Additionally, as I pondered the name, I also realized that it would work for us on another level too and here's how. I always like to have some type of family element to my children's names. For example, Hadley's middle name ("Jayne") is a combination of my dad's ("Jeffrey Wayne") and Dave's dad's ("Wayne") names. Likewise, Caleb's middle name, "Benton," also comes from our family line; it was my Granddaddy Eddie's Grandfather's middle name. Because I wanted Reid's middle name to have family significance too and since his Grandma McKinstry's middle name is "Jo," "Joseph" was perfect!
After all that thought, it's plain to see why "Joseph" was our final choice!
The Last Name: Well there was no debating about this one, of course! It was the easy part!
So, Reid Joseph McKinstry it was! Our little man :)
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