It seems like every year it is so easy to just write the same old things for holidays. Usually I tend to post an overview of our happenings that day with an array pictures of us spending the day with family.
Well, not this Thanksgiving. While I'll still slip in a few photos of the kids, my focus is going to be quite different. Rather than a recap of events, I want look at what role "thankfulness," or the lack there of, really plays in our lives.
Wait...Don't stop reading yet....This is not just some cliche list of thirty things I'm thankful for. I have poured myself out meditating on this topic for weeks, and I hope that you'll find something in this post that will resonate in a meaningful way to you as well.
About a month ago, our pastor challenged us to attempt to go three whole days without complaining. The deal was that if you forgot, you had to start all over again...You should have heard the nervous reactions all around the sanctuary.
Up for trying it, I took him up on the deal - tried my best to keep my grumbling to myself that week...and was even doing pretty good until...I stubbed my toe on that third day...It just slipped out...one little complaint...and I was back to the beginning!
While I kept my mouth under control those few days, my thoughts were a different story as I made a mental list of all the things I was going to complain about once that 72 hours were up. Yes, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it was this exercise that gave me a clear picture of just how dissatisfied I can be in my heart despite the abundance of blessings about me.
Since my friends are not likely to see me rant via social media or fuss about things in the public arena, a lot of people don't see this unpleasant side of me, but there are a few very close souls who I'm sure see this plainly, especially my husband and my mother. In an attempt to unload my own frustrations, I unintentionally dump the details of things on them that they don't need to carry. I fuss about the triviality of daily mishaps - hiccups in the script written in my head of how life should go, bemoaning my circumstances and even catching myself (*gasp*) gossiping as I "let it all out"...But, at the end of the day, I don't feel better for having unloaded; I feel guilty. Those around me feel weighed down rather than encouraged, and I still am carrying the burden...Needless to say, that is not the person I want to be!
Luke 6:45 says, " A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings forth evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." (NIV) Likewise, Matthew 12:34b echoes this. The New King James version renders it "...for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." What these verses are saying is that if I have a complaining spirit, whatever I regard in my heart is eventually going to come out of my mouth. It may not always appear in the direct form of a complaint, but it trickles through in the way of grumpiness and impatience - often falling on the people I love the most.
The only way to keep that grumbling from surfacing is to clean up my thought life. But, when you are so used to adding up all the things against you, thinking about what's pulling at you and weighing you down, how do you create a new pattern? How do you find healing for the sin of discontentment?
Plain and simple...The Word! There is no other solution but digging into the truth and being consumed by it through the Spirit until the bondage of complaining is broken and I'm transformed into what God made me to be.
So, what does the Creator of all things say about this topic?
1. Philippians 2:14-16 "Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world..." (NKJV)
Ok. so this verse gets right to the point. It's not a suggestion. The first few words can't get any plainer: "Do ALL things without complaining..." Yes, I used all caps, bolded, and underlined that important word: "all," because I want to reflect on what that short but significant term signifies.
There are so many times when we believe the lie that it's okay to complain, that our circumstances warrant it. Sometimes we think that "grumbling," as the ESV translates it, is our right after what we've been facing. We should at least get the pleasure of venting, right? Or a pity party?
That's what Satan would have us to believe. The truth is that God doesn't want us to go that route. It only leads to us sinking into the mire of self-pity. We wear ourselves out with the weight of it all. We think we are dispersing the problem, spreading it out as we "share" it with others when instead we are stacking one thing on top of another, saving it up to make a case for why someone should feel sorry for us or why we deserve justice. "But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them." (Matt. 15:18 NKJV)
God doesn't want us carrying the baggage. He wants us to "lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us" so that we can "run with endurance the race that is set before us." (from Hebrews 12:1 NKJV) How can we edify others if we are focused on our on own problems?
God especially warns us to "be patient" saying, "...Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door." (James 5:7 ESV)
Need further proof? Just look where the Israelites' complaining left them according to Psalm 106: "They murmured in their tents and did not obey the voice of the Lord. Therefore he raised his hand and swore to them that he would make them fall in the wilderness, and would make their offspring fall among the nations, scattering them among the lands." (vs. 25-27) God is patient with us, but He will judge righteously too when we take for granted His faithfulness to our generation.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 sums it all up: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (Emphasis mine) The truth is we don't have to keep seeking what His desire for us is, we KNOW it and just have to act.
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| "I will praise the name of God with a song, And will magnify Him with thanksgiving." (Psalm 69:30 NJKV) |
In those moments when we feel entitled to bemoan our circumstances, this verse is an excellence source of empowerment as it teaches us that we don't HAVE TO complain. We have a choice. We can turn our sour grapes into sweet offerings of praise through Christ and all that He has blessed us with already.
In 1 Chronicles 21 (and 2 Samuel 24), we find the story of King David, who when Araunah (aka Ornan) volunteered to give him the land, animals, and materials for a burnt offering, with conviction declined, declaring: "No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." (vs. 24 NIV) In the same way, rather than complaining when the world would tell me I have good reason to, I can offer my silence and a content heart to Him, turning towards gratitude for what God is doing instead.
It is easy to be filled with praise and thanksgiving when we feel abundantly satisfied and happy with our circumstances, but what kind of sacrifice is that when we offer Him something out of the overflow? When we reach down and give our last "mite" of heartfelt appreciation as the widow did recorded in Mark 12 and Luke 21, what joy do we bring to Father who sees our secret sacrifice and rewards us accordingly (Matthew 6:5-6).
I am not saying there aren't times when we legitimately need to speak up and voice our concerns, especially when we feel we are sinking with the weight of something we are struggling with. There are times for honesty and accountability with a close friend. Sometimes we even need share what's going on so that someone who's been through it can encourage us or so that we can be an encouragement to someone who's sharing a similar journey. But if our mind is constantly entangled with self and details of all our grievances, maybe we need to declutter, redirect our thoughts to what we DO have. "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven....a time to keep silence, and a time to speak" (from Eccl 3:1-7), our job is to be discerning.
I was tested in this very area this past week as I attempted to make a make a commitment against complaining. Dave was working long hours (~11 per day) and I was still trying to recover from last week when all of us got the stomach flu and I was hospitalized from dehydration over the weekend. Though I felt continual nausea and migraines, in my head I was trying not to burden him with what was going on, not wanting to add to the weight of his week. That evening after a talk with my mom though, I realized that there is a difference in complaining about the details versus being honest about where you are. That's when I placed a simple prayer request on Facebook with minimal info and began feeling recovery in my mind and body as my brothers and sisters in Christ interceded for me. The awesome thing was that when the idea of this post even began formulating, I had a feeling there would be a trial before God let me type it. The Lord had to teach me this balance before I'd ever be able to accurately write this post about His will for us to live lives of gratitude. He is so faithful to lead us where our hearts need to be.
3. Ephesians 4:29; 5:4 "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear...Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving." (ESV)
When I used to work at a Christian daycare in my teenage years, one of the aspects of our contract that intrigued me was that they clearly highlighted there was to be no complaining amongst ourselves. In some ways it seemed unfair at the time, and of course it still happened to a degree, but the older I've gotten, the more I see how this type of talk is corrupting. Instead of going right to the source of the problem, it breeds discontentedness in the hearts of everyone, gossip, misunderstanding, and sometimes even malice. It may not be "cursing" as we usually deem it, but in God's eyes it is filthy talk. He tells us, "If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18 NKJV) We aren't doing that if we are murmuring about one another or "the way things are done."
I'll be the first to admit that I have been guilty of this at times, but God is not done with me yet and I am so thankful for His enlightenment in this area as He gives me the grace to be the peacemaker instead of the antagonist, molding me not just to look on the bright side, but to be filled with thanksgiving.
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| "Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom, Thankgiving and honor and power and might, Be to our God forever and ever. Amen." (Revelation 7:12 NKJV) |
4. Proverbs 4:23 - "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (NIV)
Yesterday, I came upon a blog post written by Michael Hyatt as I was researching this topic called: "Three Reasons Why You Must Guard Your Heart". Want to know what this New York Times bestselling author says about your heart?...It is valuable, it is the source of all you do, and it is always under attack.
He emphasizes King Solomon's wisdom in the verse I posted above, saying your heart "is the essence of who you are. It is your authentic self--the core of your being. It is where all your dreams, your desires, and your passions live. It is that part of you that connects with God and other people." Hyatt reminds us that we "threaten life downstream" when we allow our heart to go unguarded. "Everything depends on the condition of the spring. Likewise, if your heart is unhealthy, it has an impact on everything else. It threatens your family, your friends, your ministry, your career, and indeed, your legacy."
Before I even read the end of Hyatt's post, the idea of legacy that I'd reflected on from another book I'd been reading lately popped in my head. (That's how the Spirit works, you know?) I don't want my children to be complainers. So often when Caleb starts to whine I say, "Don't complain about what you didn't get to do, but be happy about what you did get to do"...or "what you do have" as the case my be. His ingratitude pierces through my nerves and I grow increasingly frustrated as he can't see past what he wants to what he's already been allotted. But, I am just like that! Aren't we all?
Oh, how I pray that my children conform to His image and not mine - that I learn how not to grieve my Father seeking more than the riches He's already graciously lavished me with so that I can be an example for those entrusted to me. I am painfully aware of just how numbered the days I have to shepherd them are...There's no time to waste with hypocrisy. The time to strive for modeling a genuinely grateful heart is now, and I'll never get it back.
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| Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For his mercy endures forever...Oh, give thanks to the God of heaven! For his mercy endures forever. (Psalm 136:1;26 NKJV) |
5. Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (NKJV)
These two verses tucked in a letter to the church at Philippi hold so much to consider. First, through them, we learn that if we are to make any requests to God, they are to be accompanied by thanksgiving. When we do this, we let go of the worry, focusing not on the problem but recounting His faithfulness, His goodness. Our trust goes back to where it should be, grounded in the solid foundation of the Rock of Ages rather than tossed about by the torrential storms of a forever changing world. It is only then that peace that surpasses the world's understanding (as they look at the circumstances that admittedly look like they are cause for alarm) can reign in our hearts, guarding our minds in Christ.
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This is my aspiration too...to give God all that my empty hands can offer - a sacrifice of praise. Even when Satan tries to feed the lie into my mind that I have the right to complain, I want to choose the better road.
If you have these struggles too, I hope you'll commit with me to moving towards an attitude thanksliving in light of all the treasures He's already bestowed upon us and those that are to come if we are obedient to the calling He Himself has charged us with. This is not just a three day challenge by a small town pastor, but a commissioning handed down to us by the One from whom all good and perfect gifts flow. Jesus promises that if we thirst all we need to do is to come to Him and believe so that "out of [our] heart will flow rivers of living water." (John 7:37-38 NKJV) We don't have to live dried up; we just have to know His Word and take Him at it, offering praise even in a dry and thirsty land.
As we enter into the season of Christmas bustle with the never ending rush to do more, buy more, let's stop to reevaluate, making sure we are being abundantly thankful not continually dissatisfied - that we are focused on the richness we have in Christ not the limitations of this present life where the temporary can never fully satisfy our inner spirits that were created to long for eternity with our God.
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 100:1-5 ESV)
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