My husband did indeed bless me with the gift of the journal and it has been a great avenue of growth over the past several months. Though the devotions are short, which is wonderful for a mother who doesn't have lengthy chunks of time available, they are rich. I was fifteen weeks pregnant when I started the book, and though the perfectionist side of me felt funny starting part way through, I am thankful I laid those compulsions aside and picked up at that point in the journal anyway because it has been heaven sent. If you are expecting or know of a friend who is, I wholeheartedly encourage you to check it out!
The author, Catherine Claire Larson, calls motherhood a spiritual work, explaining that through it we please our Creator and honor Him. Quoting Genesis 1:28, she points out that Eve fulfilled the command to be fruitful and increase in number, and in having children, we too are fulfilling God's command and worshiping Him as a result. Not every woman is ordained for motherhood, she reminds readers, but those of us who are must recognize the significance and dignity of our role. It is not a second rate calling but a divine one. Looking at the New Testament, we also fulfill the command in the Great Commission found in Matthew 18: 19-20 when "as mothers, we do everything within our power to woo our children with the hope and beauty of the gospel and the person of Christ." What a ministry! I, for one, am definitely thankful for this opportunity for worship!
Larson also relates the physical conditions of pregnancy to the spiritual. For example, one day she discussed that just as an expecting mother may remember to eat multiple times throughout the day due to the hunger she experiences, we should also be having spiritual snacks regularly throughout the day rather than just one hefty quiet time. No wonder we feel weak by the end of the day if we fill-up only in the mornings rather than encouraging ourselves through Scripture and praying with out ceasing, right? (I love her logic!) But she doesn't stop with just a vague antidote to the problem, she gives practical application ideas for how to make this a practice in every day life. This particular devotion stressed considering how to use some of the many hours you will spend nursing/feeding your infant as a time to also refuel by praying, reading, or studying Scripture on note cards.
I love how she anticipates the fears new mothers may struggle with too based on her own experiences and then provides God-centered reassurance. From confronting the tough issues (like how God is still in control and will use all things together for His glory even in cases of genetic abnormalities) to addressing less serious matters (such as stretch marks, which she describes as badges of honor as a testimony of our love and sacrifice and the miracle God does within us), God has gifted her with the ability to soothe anxieties and minister to pregnant women's hearts.
One fear in particular that she has helped me with is labor and delivery. Since my last delivery experience was not what I expected, I have been much more nervous this round than before, questioning my choice of doctor repeatedly. Though it was not MY OB's fault I had the complications I did, it was the partnering doctor on call last time who made several bad choices, causing the problems we faced. During my quiet time recently though, God gave me the following verse from Deuteronomy 31:8: "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Though this verse can be applied to so much in life, it is particularly encouraging in these last few weeks before I face another birthing experience. Larson comments in her book: "What better labor partner could you have than the omnipotent God?" It makes me think of so many TV shows where you see women in labor; it appears that they are screaming God's name thoughtlessly as they struggle to bring forth their child in what seems like blaming outbursts. However, from the perspective of being in the delivery room in the past, I realize now that yelling to God in those times is not a vain cursing of His name; it is a plea to the only One that can help in a desperate position - a call to remind ourselves that He is still with us as the storm rages. The author also encouraged in her prayer points to give your anxieties to God, leaving your worries at His feet, and I can see that He is already tenderly helping me to do this.
On a different level, some of the messages God's spoken to me through this study really were more for helping me with the two children I already have been entrusted with to tend on a daily basis rather than just preparing for the new baby. One day after I had a Mommy meltdown as a result of Caleb refusing to obey at nap time after Hadley had already been a hard to put down, Colossians 3:12 was waiting for me to read. The reminder to "clothe" myself with "compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience" couldn't have been timelier. Though I feel deflated when I mess up and lose my cool with my little ones, I have hope through this verse that it is a choice, that I can control myself through the Spirit, and that God is working on me to make me the mom my kids need.
Aside from the enriching devotionals, points for prayer and praise are also included in this journal. I love the way the author did this particular section, pairing the normal physical requests you pray for concerning your child with spiritual ones. For example, as she talks about the baby practicing breathing in the womb, Larson suggests praying that your child will use the gift of their breath and voice to praise God. Another I liked was asking not only for hard bones for your child but also a soft heart towards God's ways. Or, rather than praying just for the formation of the body or the senses to develop, she reminds us to pray that our children will have a vision for God and taste for the things of Him. As she brings up that our children can hear our voices within the womb and begin to recognize them, she also encourages prayers that they will be able to discern God's voice throughout their lives. What about praying not only for your child as he/she develops the grasping reflex but that your little one will grasp God's love for him/her as Eph 3:17-19 describes? Larson says that "grasping is a spiritual truth woven into creation," explaining that we were born yearning for God but often grasp the wrong things. She emphasizes that it is our job to transfer our children's hands from clasping ours to following God and encourages considering in advance the habits you want to put in place to lead that sweet soul to Him. Ultimately, her focus is that our prayers are like Solomon's, requesting things of eternal significance rather than Aladdin's wishes for temporal items - not just pleas for health and happiness but kingdom-focused prayers for our children to be God's vessels, spreading the gospel.
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| 32.5 weeks - 7+ months |
As I come closer to the end of the pregnancy her words "you need grace to finish well" are well received. When it is tempting to try to keep up in my own strength and those feelings of defeat arise, I need the reminder that it is His grace alone that gives me the endurance needed both physically and spiritually. Among the other biological lessons given throughout the study, Larson highlighted recently how the pregnancy hormone relaxin is loosening the joints, ligaments, and muscles. While this is what causes so much discomfort for the time being, in reality it is God's grace prepping the body for what is about to take place. "Take time to stop and notice the wisdom of God manifest in His creation," she admonishes us from - fertilization to development to delivery. (How merciful He is to us!) But, beyond the physical, she reminds us to offer praise for the time God gives us to prepare our hearts and minds for this new precious child. While I am anxious for the journey to end and that baby boy to be in my arms, I am thankful for the way God has grown me while He's grown this child. It has been a hard pregnancy physically and emotionally, but so much fruit has abounded.
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