Woo-Woos

Caleb has pretty much always been a pacifier baby. From the first time I gave him one when he was three weeks old to help keep him content at church, there was no turning back. Initially, we called them foo-foos because that is what my sister (who was also a pacifier baby) used to call them. Later, Caleb edited the name to make it his own, and now they're known as woo-woos around here. 

For probably a year now we've been talking about breaking the habit. He went through a few weeks where his interest seemed to be waning and he didn't take a pacifier at bed time. (We didn't remind him of course!) This phase was short lived though, and since then he's wanted it pretty much every time he thinks about it or sees one despite out efforts to keep it only as a nap and bed time item. 

I considered trying to take his pacifiers away before Hadley was born but had heard that kids usually just regress when they get a younger sibling. I knew I definitely didn't want to fight the battle twice. The pediatrician told me that it wasn't really necessary to remove it until around age two and a half, so I let him keep it. Then the baby arrived... 

Hadley is a pacifier kid too and, as you might imagine, it is hard to tell one kid they can't have something and then give it to the other. I wasn't sure what I was going to do to break the habit. It seemed like this was going to be a rough road. Then one day about a month ago, I got an idea inspired by my pediatrician. She said maybe "Santa" could take the pacifiers and give them to babies that needed them. She also told us a story about how she helped her daughter give her binkies away at a baby shower to a lady who was expecting a baby. Taking bits and pieces of those ideas, I had the thought that maybe Caleb could wrap up his woo-woos and give them to Hadley this year as his Christmas present to her. 

I didn't want to try this scheme out on a whim though. I wanted him to honestly buy in to the idea and want to give his sister something. So, Dave and I began talking to him about it. We talked about him being a big boy. We talked about him giving his pacifiers to Hadley. We talked about how big boys didn't need pacifiers. We talked about how we'd put them in a box and wrap them up soon. 

At first he was a little uneasy about the idea but then he started talking about it too. Whenever we'd bring it up he say "soon;" he'd give his woo-woos to Haddie (as he calls her) "soon." He was stuck on the "soon" part of the idea though. He'd tell Granny or my mom about it and even mime wrapping the pacifiers in a box but never seemed ready to make the final leap. I think pretty much all of us were growing doubtful that this plan would work.

Finally, last weekend, I told Caleb on Friday evening that the next day we could wrap up his woo-woos for Hadley. It was very questionable whether or not he would follow through, but I figured I needed to set a specific day or it would never happen. Saturday went by and I completely forgot about the pacifiers until bed time. I said something like, "Oh, we forgot to wrap up your pacifiers," and I think I suggested that we could do it the next day. To my surprise, Caleb was adamant that he wanted to go downstairs and wrap them right that minute. Dave, who was just as leery of trying this whole pacifier wrapping event right before bed as I was, talked to Caleb about the fact that putting them in a box for Hadley would mean that when it was time to go to sleep he wouldn't have one. Caleb seemed to understand and went downstairs with me to get the present ready.

I let him help gather the woo-woos, put them in the box, and pick the paper. He chose some old Mickey Mouse paper I had left over from last year that he'd been eying ever since I drug out the Christmas stuff. I let him help with the tape, and he also chose a bow and tag (although he didn't want me to write anything on the tag). Then we put it under the tree. This was especially sweet because earlier in the day he had been quite concerned that Hadley didn't have any presents under the tree. (He didn't even notice that he doesn't have any under there either at this point.)

Then it was time for bed. To my relief, everything went smoothly. He asked for a woo-woo only once to which I reminded him that he'd wrapped them for Hadley. I told him that he could play with my hair if he wanted for comfort and talked him about how big boys get things like candy that babies don't get. He whined the tiniest bit and then seemed content. It has now been over a week and I think I can count on one hand the number of times he has asked for a woo-woo. On two of those occasions, it was because Dave or I had given Hadley a pacifier that we borrowed from my Mom's house that Caleb thought was his.

There is still some uncertainty about what will happen after December 25th when the box is unwrapped. Will he be content to let Hadley have his pacifiers? Will he decide he needs them again? Should I hide the box now and not let them see it Christmas morning and hope he forgets? My plan and hope is that two and a half weeks of not having any woo-woos will break the habit for good and the attachment will be distanced enough that we can move forward. Breaking a child of something so he finds so comforting is hard on a parent's heart. On the one hand, you want to let them be babies as long as they can because they have to grow up so quickly. On the other you know they need consistency, self-confidence, and responsibility. He's becoming a big boy... but just a little too fast for me.