My body had played tricks on me over the weeks leading up to the big event, causing me to think on two occasions that I was in labor as I waited counting contractions each time my stomach tightened in pain. Both times, my hopes soared in anticipation of meeting our new little one as I watched the clock, noticing the contractions were coming at ten minute intervals. Painful Braxton Hicks had plagued me other times throughout the pregnancy, but the difference in each of these cases was the pattern that had developed. Both times, it was in the middle of the night. Dave was asleep, and my mind raced with details about who I should call or where I should take our other two kids if it was time for me to go. I wasn't sure whether I should go to bed and get some rest in case it was false labor (since I'd need to take care of Hadley and Caleb the next day if it was), or if I should be packing and making childcare arrangements as quickly as possible. I ran around getting the cameras charged and my hospital bag packed but was hesitant to go into the kids' rooms for fear of waking them. I alerted Dave on the first round, but the second time this happened I even let him sleep until I'd determined for sure if we needed to make a trip to the hospital or not. Finally, in both instances my tiredness gave way and I tried to sleep; 3-5 hrs later everything stopped.
This third time was different. October 11th a little before 12:30 a.m., I woke up with some mild cramping in my abdomen. I wasn't sure at first, especially after the first two false alarms, but I started watching the clock and recording the details just in case. It only took an hour or so before I realized, this is for real!
First, I called my mom who had warned me if I went into labor that night to give her plenty of time to get her hair washed. (She is too funny!) Then, I piddled around the house getting things together for awhile, letting Dave sleep as long as possible like I did when I went into labor with both of my other two because I knew it was going to be a long night. Meanwhile, Mom woke up Granny, who agreed to ride to our house to keep Caleb and Hadley instead of dragging them out to her house which had been our original daytime plan. Not long after, I finally let Dave know what was happening and he shot into action, helping me make sure we had everything loaded in the car and ready for the kids the next day.
The contractions quickly got closer together ranging from 2-4 minutes apart, but they never got all that painful like I'd experienced in the past. Since we live 35 minutes from the hospital where I was delivering, I was getting a little anxious for Mom and Granny to arrive, but the relatively mild cramps made me pretty calm that there was still plenty of time. The kids' bags and mine had already been packed days before thanks to the false alarms I'd been having, so I took the extra time to clean up a few things that I wanted done before we left. I also took the time to update Facebook, so everyone would know we were finally on our way and that prayers were needed. In addition, I posted the following verse from Deuteronomy 31:8 underneath: "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave nor forsake you, Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." The author of my pregnancy devotional encouraged finding verses to encourage you throughout the labor process and this was one I'd been recalling for weeks whenever fear came my way. As I posted it on Facebook, I felt as if I was claiming it at that point for what was ahead. I can't tell you how many times I would repeat it to myself throughout the next several hours as all kinds of "what if" fears threatened to steal my peace. But, as always, His faithfulness prevailed. He had gone before me, stayed with me, kept me from being afraid, and removed thoughts of discouragement.
The ride to the hospital was rainy and very dark, making it difficult at times to see the lines on the road, but it was the calmest of all three labor experiences I've had because the contractions were so mild. I actually told Dave that I was nervous I may not be dilated enough and that they would end up sending me home as a result. It even seemed a bit laughable as we walked through the ER doors that they brought a wheelchair for me to use. Needless to say, as I lay in the hospital bed waiting for the verdict around 3 a.m., I was thrilled when I heard my nurse say 6 cm! I was admitted! :) He had gone before me.
My entire pregnancy I had some degree of worry about who would be the physician on call when my time came to deliver. With Hadley it had been the other doctor who partnered with mine, and after having a bad experience with him, I did not want a repeat scenario. Relief flooded when I found out MY Dr. Myers was on the job that night, and even my mom did a quiet victory cheer from her chair when the nurse gave us the good news. He had gone before me.
The next several hours involved a lot of waiting. Rather than having me walk to keep things progressing, they immediately got me set up with an IV (well, after the first tech missed twice and a second one got the job done). Still things were pretty calm and my pain levels low as Dave, Mom, and I chatted, waiting for something to happen. Honestly, my main complaint was how hungry I was since I had only snacked for supper the night before. Though I've always heard not to eat anything when you're in labor, my nurse must not have gotten that memo. As I ate the saltines and Jello, she brought, I giggled telling Mom: "I feel like I'm having a holiday." Not your normal birthing experience for sure! He had gone before me.
As the hours passed and not much happened, the three of us took a nap, trying to rest a little while we could. Around 6 a.m., the doctor, who had retreated to his "sleep room" for a bit, came in to check me again and break my water to get the show on the road. He reported that I was at 7 cm, and while the pain level had intensified some it was still pretty low at that point. Not surprisingly, it increased shortly afterwards and things began to move, though slowly at first. Through each step, my nurse detailed what to expect, explained how she was monitoring both me and the baby, and sought how she could make me as comfortable as possible. She suggested trying a birthing ball (something new to me) and offered pain medicine if needed. With decades of experience, she was one of the best nurses I've ever met, going above and beyond to ensure I had all the information and pain management necessary. He had gone before me.
Since getting an epidural was part of the problem I'd had with Hadley's delivery, I debated getting one at all this time around, especially since last time the doctor didn't give me enough of the medicine and I could still feel a good deal of the contractions during the pushing stage. With Caleb I received one at 8+ cm and with Hadley I was probably at least at 9 cm since the doctor immediately had me start pushing once he'd finished inserting it. Keeping that in mind, I wasn't sure that I would need an epidural this time around, especially since the labor had been so much more mild than the times before. However, I did voice my opinion, both at the beginning of my pregnancy to my doctor and to the nurses who attended me at the hospital, that if I should need one, I wanted an anesthesiologist not the OB to perform the task this time. Breathing through the contractions and trying distract myself from the pain as it increased, I realized around 10 a.m. that while I could brace myself and get through the sharpness of each one, I didn't know how I could handle pushing through them when the time came. (I was no longer having a "holiday." That's for sure!) I remembered pushing somewhere around an hour and a half with both of my previous babies, and that seemed like a long time to struggle without an epidural. On the other hand, I knew receiving the epidural would be painful as well and didn't want to risk someone messing with my spine again if I could help it. When the nurse said the doctor wanted to start some Pitocin to get things to speed up, I feared how much more intense the labor would get and wondered how much longer it would take to fully dilate. I prayed for direction but finally decided the epidural was needed. He had gone before me.
When I finally asked for the anesthesiologist, the nurse comforted my fears by commenting how good the one on call was and that if she were to have an epidural done he would be her choice. True to her description, he was a kind and gentle man who explained everything thoroughly and made sure I was comfortable the entire time, going at my pace rather than hurriedly getting the job done. He had gone before me.
I had somewhat of a strange reaction afterwards at first, shaking like a "Tickle Me Elmo" toy and still trying to work through the pain as the epidural took awhile to kick in. Then, the nurse announced that the monitors showed that our baby needed more oxygen as she placed a mask over my face to ensure that he was getting what he needed. While the mask made it even harder to breathe through the contractions, at least I had the nurse's assurance that the baby was doing better as a result of having it. Shortly there after, sleep came. He had gone before me.
I've debated since then if I should have had the epidural since immediately afterwards the nurse checked again and I was at 9+ cm, but who knows really how things might have gone. It was determined, however, that the Pitocin wasn't needed at that point since things had progressed on their own quickly, and I was getting rest. When I woke up, maybe about an hour later, the nurse said it was time to push, confident that it would only take one good one before she'd need to have the doctor come in to deliver our boy. As I began to push though, she shouted "Stop!" and rushed Dr. Myers in there immediately. After one round of pushing, sure enough Baby Reid was here! He had gone before me.
With my previous deliveries, they've given me the option of having the babies cleaned up a little before they handed them to me. This time, they didn't even ask and immediately laid Reid in a towel on my chest. Even though the time difference of receiving him was only a couple minutes sooner, the immediate connection I felt was so different. I was overwhelmed with emotion in a new way as I looked at his beautiful, perfect face. Though this was the third round, receiving this new child in my arms was unique and just as marvelous as before. Something like that doesn't lose the wonder. He had gone before me.
My two wonderful encouragers, who had sat waiting in expectancy of our new child as they watched me struggle through the final stages of delivering him, were also ready for their opportunity to feel the weight of this swaddled infant in their arms. I couldn't have asked for better advocates or more caring partners. He had gone before me.
Never before had a birthing experience been as peaceful as this one was, but neither had one been as spiritual as this one either. From the encouraging Scriptures He placed before me throughout my entire pregnancy to the reminders of His presence the night I delivered, He walked with me step by step and I saw His presence in a new way. I had peace that rose above my fears passing all normal levels of understanding. He had gone before me.
What a blessing. I am so glad things went so well for you. Can't wait to meet him!
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